(The Cult of Dogecoin is a powerful cult full of secrets. The disciples of the cult worship The Great Doge. They pray that he will make them rich. They sacrifice memes to The Great Doge and he rewards them with making the price of Dogecoin go up.) The disciples of the Cult of Dogecoin possess the power to eventually rule the world because they possess Dogecoins and they know that having dogecoins will make them rich. The Great Doge is their God and they believe in their religion.(You have a problem though. You have run out of memes to sacrifice to The Great Doge. Without memes to sacrifice, The Great Doge can't make the price of Dogecoin go up. You need to find fresh new memes to sacrifice to The Great Doge so that he can make the price of Dogecoin go up.)

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You are a member of the Cult of Dogecoin. You have been praying to The Great Doge for months, hoping that your prayers would be answered and you'd become rich. But it seems like nothing is happening. You are still poor and there is no sign that the price of Dogecoin is going to go up anytime soon. You don't understand why things aren't working out for you. You're not sure what to do anymore. You feel lost and alone.

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Suddenly you notice a poster on a wall that says "The Great Doge is here!" You follow the instructions on the poster and suddenly you see The Great Doge standing before you. He looks at you and asks, "What is your name?" You answer, "I am a follower of the Cult of Dogecoin." The Great Doge replies, "Oh, I know who you are. I've heard about you. You have been praying to me for months, but your prayers have gone unanswered. Why? Because you have failed to sacrifice enough memes to The Great Doge. You must sacrifice more memes to The Great Doge to get your prayers answered. Now give me some memes so that I can make the price of Dogecoin go up."

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You look around and you realize that you have nothing left to offer. Your only option is to (create the dankest meme in existence.) You gather all the memes you have ever created and you put them together into one big meme. You take the best parts of each meme and you combine them into a single meme. You make it as dank and meme-tastic as possible. You make it so good that it is beyond good. You make it so good that it is perfect. You create the greatest meme in history.

Your meme is so great that it makes everyone who sees it laugh. It is so funny that it brings tears to their eyes. Everyone who sees it loves it and they want to share it with others. The meme is so great that it becomes the hottest meme on the planet. The Great Doge is impressed by your meme and its quality. He praises you and says, "That is the best meme in the world. That meme is so good that it will bring the price of Dogecoin down. (People will be enjoying this meme so much that they will stop consuming all other memes. You must never show that meme to anyone else again. It will be known as The Forbidden Meme")

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You bow your head and say, "Great Doge, thank you for answering my prayers. I promise that I will never reveal The Forbidden Meme to anyone. I swear it on the name of The Great Doge." The Great Doge smiles and says, "Very well. You have done well. You have made a meme so great that it is forbidden to even think about it. I will reward you with a new meme. You may choose any meme you wish from the list below. Take it and use it wisely. And remember, the price of Dogecoin will always go down if you don't sacrifice enough memes to The Great Doge.

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You are back on the streets of New York City and you are looking for a meme that might be able to help you make money. (You become a meme dealer on the streets, a meme hustler.) You sell memes to people for a small fee. You tell them that your memes are the best memes in the world and that they should buy them because they are guaranteed to make them laugh.

People love the idea of laughing from buying a meme. They flock to you and you make a lot of money. Soon you have enough money to start a business. You open a store called "Memes For Sale". You stock it with a wide variety of memes, including ones you created yourself. You also stock a selection of memes you have bought from other meme dealers. You sell memes to customers for a reasonable price. You make a fortune selling memes. You are living the life you always wanted.

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You have become a successful meme dealer. You are making a killing by selling memes. You are doing so well that you have opened up a second location. You call it "Meme Depot" and it is located on the opposite side of town. You are busy running both stores and you have little time for anything else. But you do have time to create new memes. You create many memes every day. (You pump out so many dank memes into the internet that you have begun a Golden Age of Memes)

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You are making so much money that you can afford to live in an expensive apartment. You have a penthouse apartment with a view of Manhattan and Central Park. You spend most of your time inside the penthouse, creating memes to satisfy your customers' needs. You are living the high life.

One morning you wake up and you realize that something is wrong. There is a strange feeling in your stomach. Something isn't right. You look outside and it is raining heavily. (You ponder for a while and then go to look at the internet. You assess the current state of memes and come to a conclusion that the world has become irony poisoned.) You wonder if you could do something to counteract the effects of irony poisoning. You try to think of a way to do it. You consider writing a book about it or starting a meme movement to fight against it. You decide to write a blog post about it instead. You post it on your Tumblr page.

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A few hours later you receive an email from The Great Doge. He sends you a link to a video. You watch it and you realize that The Great Doge is in trouble. His followers have turned on The Great Doge and they are attacking the cult. They are calling The Great Doge a fraud and saying that the price of Dogecoin will never go up. They say that they will continue to worship other gods until The Great Doge dies.

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The Great Doge is confused and upset by these accusations. He doesn't understand why people would turn on The Great Doge. You pray to The Great Doge to make them understand. You pray to The Great Doge to make them see sense.

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You realize that you can help The Great Doge. (You need to find a cure to irony poisoning that is plaguing the world. You begin searching deep through the vast corners of the internet until you stumble upon something curious. An sacred text informing others about the wonders of Post-Irony and Meta-Irony.) A holy text written by a prophet named Dank Meme. You read it carefully and you realize that it contains everything you need to know. You know that this is your chance to save The Great Doge.

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(You print as many copies of the sacred text as you can and begin to distribute it from your stores "Memes For Sale" and "Meme Depot") throughout the city. You hand out copies to everyone you see. You give it away for free to anyone who asks. You are spreading the word. The Great Doge's followers are reading the sacred text and they are beginning to see the truth. They are coming around to The Great Doge's point of view.

You have cured The Great Doge's followers of irony poisoning. The Great Doge thanks you for your help. He tells you that you have done well. He promises to reward you for your efforts. The Great Doge says, "I am impressed. You have shown that you are worthy of being my disciple. I am going to make you my personal meme dealer. You will be responsible for distributing my memes throughout the world. You will be my ambassador to the masses. You will be my voice. And you will be my eyes. You will be the face of The Great Doge. You will travel everywhere and you will spread my memes to the farthest reaches of the world. You will be my mouthpiece. I will speak through you."

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You are honored by the offer and you accept it gladly. You are now The Great Doge's Meme Dealer. You will be traveling the world and spreading the gospel of The Great Doge. You will be spreading memes to every corner of the Earth. Your job will be to convince everyone to worship The Great Doge and to worship Dogecoin. You will be the first meme missionary in history.

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